Friday, March 6, 2009

On the most important thing in the world at this white-hot moment

I have a huge article about Crisis I'm going to let sit.

I just saw Watchmen, and like everyone else on the planet, I have an opinion about it. but this will wait.

Why? Because in one sweeping gesture, Marvel Comics has just made up for One More Day, House of M, and for not bitch-slapping George Lucas when he released Howard the Duck.

The Marvel Comics website has translated and his hosting the Japanese Spider-Man show.
This show is legendary. It's part of a four-year licensing deal Marvel did with the Japanese TV powerhouse Toei Productions, a partnership that only spawned two shows - this and Battle Fever J, the show that created the Super Sentai Series, the shows that America then takes and turns into Power Rangers.
America could do it for another 50 years, but it will never get as WTF-y as the Japanese Spider-Man show did.
I often used to imagine what the meeting between Toei and Marvel was like...
(In the interests of political correctness, no embarassing sterotypical accents will be added to the dialogue. Please imagine your own and insert where required.)
Toei Executive - We are very excited about working with you on Spider-Man program. You have our gratitude.

Marvel Executive - We are pleased as well. We hope you will have much success.

TE - We have read about character from comics you sent. We do have some questions.

ME - Of course, we'll be happy to help.

TE - Ah, good, thank you. We could not find any pictures of Spider-Man's flying car.

ME - Um...he doesn't have one, as such.

TE - Really? (muffled conversation in Japanese) Ah, We will fix this, it is not a problem. OK, next question...exactly how tall is his Giant Robot?

ME - The say whonow?

Japanese Spider-Man was given his powers by a space alien from the Planet Spider who lived in a cave for 400 years, hiding and plotting his revenge against Professor Monster and the Iron Cross Army.

No. Really.

And he has a spaceship named "Marveller" that spits out his car, the Spider-Machine 7, and transforms into the giant robot Leopardon, and they...what, why are you laughing?

This makes Italian Spiderman look like friggin' Shakespere.

Just push play, and soak it in.

There's forty more where that came from.

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